This past Saturday, we had totally made plans to go to Crossfit. But he didn't get home until 1:30 in the morning, and was too tired. So, I was like, I am going to go work out. I went to LA Fitness near our place because it was close and I had a list a mile long that I had to do. I went to a kickboxing cardio class. Yeah....that will be the last time I ever go to one of those classes. It was horribly boring. I don't know what would make me think that I would have a good time. I sometimes question what goes on in my head. OH well. LESSON LEARNED!
This past week has been and up and down week. We had a bump in the relationship. Wouldn't even really call it a fight. Something had been bothering him, and he just didn't know how to express it. So, instead of telling me what was wrong, he bottled it all up inside. I hate it when guys do that. Why can't they be more like us? Anyway, his problem was that I was "not the typical body type he goes for". Which, well, fuck. That means more dieting for me. I am glad at least he realizes how far I have come. I am doing the best I can, and by no means am I a cow. So, I see tons more salad in my future. The good thing is, he did say that he will still come to crossfit with me to help motivate me. And of course, after he gets all of this off his chest, it seems like our relationship is so much better. :)
Well, it is off to work in a bit. Hope everyone has a great week!
Amy, you have come so far, and I think you look amazing. You're now a slender girl and don't need to lose any more if you don't want to. I don't think you should change for anyone but yourself, but if it's something you want, then go for it.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jamie. I have wanted to lose a few more pounds, but it was just hard hearing that he wanted me to lose more. Especially since he didn't see where I started. Maybe if he had seen me then he would see what everyone else sees. But I am not going to go crazy dieting or anything. I also wonder if he thinks that I might look like my mom when I get older (She is bigger...and all), but I am not my parents. We will see! :)
ReplyDeleteI have wondered if John thinks that, too! My mom is adorable, but after four kids she's certainly bigger than she was in her cheerleading days. I'm glad you're not going to go crazy with dieting to look a certain way, because you look fabulous and deserve to be happy with what you've achieved. Rock on. :)
ReplyDeleteAmy, I totally agree with Jamie. Don't ever change yourself just for someone else, although I do realize that you have always held high expectations for yourself, like with school and with Crossfit. I am glad that you aren't thinking you need to lose a ton of weight just because your boyfriend said he's not "used to that body type." I'm sorry if I seem miffed, but that comment reminded me so much of my ex during college. He would watch everything I put in my mouth, would question me ("Should you be eating that?") and basically make me feel like an unattractive, fat blob (although I was anything but--I weighed 110 in college!). I just don't want a guy to change your self-image, that's all. You are beautiful and look amazing, and I don't want for you to think otherwise of yourself. Have you showed him old pictures of yourself so he can see exactly how incredibly far you've come?! Sorry, I should stop now. I love you!!!! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Carrie and Jamie. I think he has seen the old pics of me on facebook. And to be honest, there aren't too many that I want to revisit myself. I personally would like to lose another 10 pounds. Most of what I need to do now is tighten up my stomach. I need to get an ab mat so I can do lots of sit ups.
ReplyDeleteI struggled with myself on whether or not to post what I did. After our talk Carrie, I knew I was going to talk to you about it. I even asked him what I should say when my support system asked what the reason was. He said to tell the truth. If that changes your opinion of him, that's what happens. But I do love this man so much. And he feels really horrible for thinking the things that he thought, said, and did. He has been warned, that if he treats me like that again, he is sleeping on the couch! Thank you guys for you support. It means a lot that I have such great friends that I can talk things out with! I love you!
I'm glad you posted this, because I agree--if he doesn't treat you with respect and like the awesome person you are, we're going to kill him. :) You deserve happiness, but you also deserve a partner who loves you for who you are.
ReplyDeleteYou could tighten your abs by doing overhead lunges, overhead squats with a broom (or heavier if you want), sit-ups, and sit-ups with a medicine ball. I think running or swimming for cardio would be good, too, plus those activities tone everything. Ideally, you would come workout with us!!! :) I know, that is a future goal, but I miss you! Keep your chin up, though, girl. Your friends know you will accomplish your goals--you are driven and motivated, and you don't back down from a challenge. Hugs!!!!